dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
