every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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