I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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