I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
