I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
