what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
