dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
