My cat gives me a boner
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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