So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
