p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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