At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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