glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
