i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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