Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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