if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
