You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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