I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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