the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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