Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
