So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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