I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
