This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
