Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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