so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
