He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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