The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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