i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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