4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
