I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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