There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
