i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
