went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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