He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
