I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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