Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
