they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
