dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
