I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
