I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
So squirting runs in the family.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
