3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
