Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
