i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's shark week go big or go home
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
