I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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