Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
