wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
