I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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