i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Randomize
