I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
