If i come over, it means nothing
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
