I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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