He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
