I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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