if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
