i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
