i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
