textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
