In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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