She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize