we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
