I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
