is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Can I color on your dick again?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
