When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
